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So... the daughter has had a miscarriage...

I have Feelings about this that relate to the lost pregnancy at least as much to her physical wellbeing.  And it's hard to talk to anyone else because to them there wasn't anything really there to lose.  But for me there was.

Part of it, for her too, is that we didn't even know she WAS pregnant until she wasn't, so it's a kind of double loss - without being a loss at all.  Seeing the confusion here?  She and her fiance aren't trying as such but they aren't NOT trying, if you see what I mean.

At least we've all been spared the excitement of looking forward to a baby only for it to not be.

But she and her fiance know that they CAN get pregnant.  She's going to take things easy for a while and then go back to not stopping it.
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My husband woke me up early on Sunday and said, 'I don't know how to tell you this but our niece is dead.'

Our niece was a month older than our daughter - she was 30 in January.  Her mother died (of natural causes) less than 2 years ago.  She was killed pretty much instantly by a car and the driver was arrested for causing death by dangerous driving.  She was on a night out for St Patrick's night with a friend who is still in hospital.

We were never close - unlike our other nephews and nieces, she didn't really enjoy going out with us.  But she and our daughter were pretty close when they were kids.  I hadn't seen her since her mother's funeral but our daughter happened to bump into her last week when she was buying wallpaper for her bedroom.  There are still so many feelings.

- she was our daughter's age, ffs!
- she lived with her uncle and one of her brothers - what happens to them, now?
- two funerals - mother and daughter - in less than two years
- we may not have liked how she lived her life, but she enjoyed it
- you just don't know what's going to happen 5 minutes from now

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