A bed of roses

Booked a taxi for husband's appointment at Broadgreen - which was in person even though the rheumatologist told us they were going to ring, but whatever. The taxi driver was wearing t-shirt and shorts with bright orange socks with blue dots on. He was playing a recording of someone reading the Quran - one voice would sing a verse in Arabic and then another would say it in English. Coming home we got the very same driver! Never happened before.

Anyway, the husband will now have another tablet to add to the mix - but just one a week. The other option was 4-6 a day, which just feels like a LOT.

At the hospital, we bumped into one of his cousins, also there with rheumatism. Again, first time we've met someone we know there.

Also got some work done, particularly prepping for my 'divide and conquer' sessions with the PMs tomorrow. I love them all but it's quite difficult to get very far when they're all in a room together. 1-1 I can gather the thoughts of each of them and then compile them into something new. Or tick everything off as agreed - you never know!

I'm back in the office tomorrow but my first meeting isn't until 10am.

I finished Patel's character chart. I'm loving her family, too. And I noticed some lovely big houses as we were driving up to the hospital that would be ideal for them. I had originally planned to squeeze them into a former council house but I think they have the wherewithal for something more spacious. Of course, Mum will complain that they're rattling around in it now that three of her five children have left - but the eldest and his wife can soon fill up the empty rooms!

For the other characters I'm just going to rattle quickly through the sheet, I think. Anything I can answer quickly I will, anything else I'll come back to later, if I have time before November. I really want to get the plot outline and scene list done, too.

 We had our last Zoom evening prayer tonight. I'm starting a course in a couple of weeks that runs on a Tuesday. If/when I take up the mantle again, it will be with a team. The course is being run as part of FFM and I do think the idea of new monasticism is something that could bring the new 'super parish' together. It's also something that's been explored in the last couple of CAC meditations, which is quite inspiring. There's also been discussion of the 'contemplative life' not requiring actual meditation, which is something I've never really taken to - but I feel a growing stillness in my core being.

Well, that's a better post than I've managed lately. Not having the telly on is definitely a good thing!

I'm getting so dizzy with changing heads that I'm forgetting the things I'm already committed to! Today, I offered to support a project board that I set up the meeting for... Next week is a lot less cluttered, so I'm going to take some time to just take stock, I think.

The PMF is looking quite different from what Tigger and I worked on a couple of weeks ago, and I've booked a 9am meeting to give them a heads up - I don't want them to come in to the group session later in the morning and not know what I've done. I'm happy that what I've documented works, but I'm not sure what impact it will have on the plans they've already created. Also, the stages we were looking at were based on someone else's process; we had to sort of retrofit the activities for each stage, which feels back-to-front. We should be documenting OUR process, not forcing it to fit someone else's. That's how I'm going to frame it, anyway. On the other hand, what I've ended up with is heavily influenced by the two people who should really have the least say! But that doesn't mean they're wrong...

My current line manager has asked me to facilitate a group that is not directly in my sphere of work and suggested there might be some pushback from my new line manager because it isn't a project board. However, we agreed that it will have an impact on my broader role and will be a big help to me, particularly in knowing what might be coming down the pipeline.

At prayers tonight we read another of the 'empty tomb' narratives. It's curious that we seem to be making our way through all of them, and they're all in the Lectionary for Tuesday evenings! Tonight's was John's version, where Mary Magdalene recognises the risen Jesus when he speaks her name. I think there's a level at which God knows our true name.

My maternal grandmother's given name was Nora Irene. Most people called her Nora or Gangan - my name for her when I was little that stuck. The vicar at her funeral, who didn't know her personally, kept calling her 'Nora Irene' because, he said, that was her true name, given at her baptism, and was how God knew her. But she was also Mum and Gangan! More people (not just family members) called her Gangan than EVER called her Nora Irene! How belittling of God to suggest God only recognises our baptismal name. My grandchildren aren't baptised - does God not know them at all? On the train up to Blackpool, my mum asked me to say a few words, which left me a bit stunned. What should I say?! At first I said I couldn't but husband encouraged me to try - and it all came pouring out. One of the first things I wrote was about extended family and friends calling her 'Gangan' and after the fifth reference to 'Nora Irene' I was so glad I did! I also talked about the tin bath in front of the fire before her bathroom was put in, and rhubarb crumble made from the rhubarb growing in her garden. 
 
My sister-in-law's given name was 'Mary' but she was known as 'Lynn' - but the priest at her funeral referred to her as 'Mary' throughout, presumably for the same stupid reason. It's such a simple thing to ask - 'how did you know x?'. Brother-in-law was Peter Anthony but was known as 'Tony' - and the minister referred to him as 'Tony'. It made such a difference.

The Ancient Egyptians believed that people achieved immortality through the speaking of their names. That was why they built little altars for the deceased, so the living could visit and speak their names. They would have been VERY particular about getting the right name :D But I do think there's some truth in the idea. My grandmother, sil and bil all live on in our memories, whenever we share their names.

Trigger warning - discussion of dentists and what dentists do!

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So, my second dental appointment finally came around and off I went to get my filling or fillings. When I got there, the dentist poked at my teeth and asked if anything hurt and when they tapped my wisdom tooth it... didn't exactly hurt but I FELT it. So I had another x-ray done, which showed a rather large hole in that tooth and the dentist advised it should come out. There didn't seem much point in putting it off, so I gave the OK to get it done there and then. I wasn't really prepared mentally but it needed doing.

The dentist numbed my jaw, including an injection in the roof of my mouth, which is still stinging 9 hours later. They did the filling first, then got going with the extraction. It seemed to take ages and the dentist kept asking if I was sure I was OK, so I expect I was as white as a sheet! I'm pretty pale anyway, but I was in shock whilst trying to keep as calm and relaxed as possible, for both our sakes :D But the tooth was finally removed and I looked at it afterwards and it seemed so SMALL, considering all the effort it took to get it out.

Then the dentist uttered the immortal line, 'Extractions are such fun!'. O_o Well, I'm glad YOU enjoyed it!

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And now to other things.

I've just had ANOTHER go at getting the cut thingy to work and it stubbornly refuses to. I've tried adding spaces, taken all the spaces out, and even tried the [ ], all to no avail. And I know I CAN get it to work because it's worked before. Any tips gratefully received!

EPC showed off the work we've been doing to the other permanent PMs. One of them pointed out that we're still in the midst of reviewing our process and agreeing the criteria for the new stage gates, and I can only agree with them. It does feel a bit like we're putting the cart before the horse - or, at least, alongside the horse! Yes, we can change everything so it all lines up but we really haven't done this in the best order. But EPC didn't earn their nickname for nothing :D We will get everything straightened out, eventually.

When I got back from the dentist, EPC showed me something they'd been working on. I smiled and nodded but I was still a little bit shaky, so I said, 'That's all great! Now I'm going to put my headphones on and have my lunch. OK?' They looked slightly bemused (but not offended) and just nodded, then left me completely alone - so they can take a hint.

And I had an hour's peace whilst I watched Dave from Playstation Access tackle the Temple of the Ancients in FFVII OG - which he did with aplomb!

I've been pondering what sort of bird made the nest in the bird feeder. I'm trying to not show any interest in it because I don't want to scare the parents off, so I'm having to go off my memory of what it looks like. I Googled robin, sparrow and blue tit nests and, from memory, I think it mostly resembles a blue tit nest. But I'm almost sure the bird that flew out the other day was brown - so perhaps a robin or sparrow has taken it over this year? I'm seriously considering buying a miniature camera in the winter so I can 'spy' on the nest next year :D

This evening, husband volunteered to both cook and wash up because of my sore mouth <3

Then, another member of the prayer group read the liturgy for me.

I feel very cared for.

We're going to be grandparents again! Of course, I'm hoping for a girl this time - but the most important thing is a healthy baby <3 New baby will be very close in age to grandson #2, which brings its own problems, but they'll have each other to play with. Daughter and SIL are going to have to find a bigger house pretty soon, too!

In other news, ChatGPT completely garbled the transcript from today's meeting, so I had to fall back on my own brain :O It may well be something to do with the prompt but I'm blaming the AI, so there! I've signed up to some AI info sessions, including one on writing prompts, so we'll see how that goes.

And I've started Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart. Still trying to work out what's going on! I got stuck on the very first task *blush* I made it to the objective but then couldn't work out what to do next. I tried jumping up and down, and I tried swinging my wrench but nothing happened. I looked it up and found I had to jump THEN hit. 'How am I supposed to KNOW that?' I demanded of the universe. Then I went into the settings because the subtitles I thought I'd turned on were off and checked the tutorial thingy... which I'd also managed to turn off... Double-doh!!! Yeah, old person in the room having a senior moment ROFL Anyway, I have it on the easiest settings and I'm somehow managing to move forward.

I read a bit of 'Always Coming Home' by Ursula Le Guin last night. It was a section with some actual stories, so that was nice.

I subscribe to an online local newspaper called The Post, which asked for recommendations for books set in Liverpool or written by locals, and I suggested 'Weaveworld' by Clive Barker, which ticks both boxes! It has some absolutely gorgeous imagery, with a secret world hidden in the weave of a carpet - but it's by Barker, so there are some much less delightful things going on, too! I got a couple of likes and then someone replied that they had been about to recommend the same book. And I put in a shameless plug for my own modest venture into literature - The Curse of Mannerley Manor. Read it - it's good!

Today, my prayer times have all been pointing towards love. Love never fails, living good lives of defiant joy... I firmly believe living with a loving heart is a subversive act in this world. It's easy to be cynical - and sometimes I am! - but leaving ourselves open to beauty and delight keeps us from bitterness. There are times when I feel I'm getting younger not older, at least in terms of my outlook on life, in my capacity for simple joy. There are also times when I feel my mental and physical capacities have aged about 10 years in the last 15 months :D

But enough meandering. To bed, perchance to dream...

 *slightly anguished howl*

So it's back to work(ing from home) on Monday.  I really don't know how it got to be the end of the hols already.

But the house is clean, I've nearly finished watching S2 of The Witcher (<3 Geralt <3), and I've made progress with Okami.  I call that a successful break!

I was looking for some simple liturgy I can use at home to give some structure to my prayer time.  I was aware of 'The Earth Cries Glory' by Steven Shakespeare (who happens to be a friend) but wasn't sure if it would meet my needs.  I tried the Anglican Cathedral bookshop last week but they didn't have any liturgy books at all - lots of stuff ABOUT prayer but that wasn't what I wanted.  I looked online at the St Paul's bookshop list and saw another book I thought might do but I wanted to actually flick through the pages to get a sense of it.  So, I visited the actual shop yesterday - again, lots of stuff ABOUT prayer, and books of readings and reflections that, again, weren't what I wanted.  Then on about the fifth scan of the shelves looking for inspiration, 'TECG' suddenly appeared as if by magic!  I had a little flick through and the liturgies are all really short but, obviously, adding readings/music/spoken intercessions of my own/silent prayer expands the time.  The book is split into 8 seasons following the pattern of the Celtic year and there are four liturgies for each day - morning, midday, evening and night.  My plan is to mostly use the night one but I'll see if I can work the others in.

And now I'm going to start my weekend :)