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 I tried... and tried... and tried to get through the maze in Zau. A couple of times I got to the furthest point I'd reached so far and failed to land on a ledge, and back to the start I went. If there weren't so many opportunities to die on the way there, I'd have found the way to get past it. But... well... I gave up. Not in rage, but in sheer frustration. I haven't deleted the game - yet - but I'm seriously considering watching the ending. I believe I COULD get through, but it would take ages and life is just too short. And I'm at peace with that decision.

I picked up Tunic next. It's very cute - and very light on explanations. I'm just sort of figuring things out as I go - which is not really my preferred MO but it feels familiar enough that it's all making sense. I mean, I have an overall objective and I do have a map, of sorts. And I got through a boss fight with a stick of dynamite - so go me! Progress is being made, and that's the main thing.

I watched today's Doctor Who early, so on iPlayer rather than the recording. I... dunno... Susan Twist being recognised by The Doctor and jogging Ruby's memory was a great moment. The idea that there are NO rich PoC on the entire Earth... REALLY?! It gave The Doctor a moment to be frustrated by the sheer stupidity (banality as WhoCulture put it) of their attitude, rather than personally offended. Big props to the actress playing Lindy for making something of such a vapid, narcissistic character. WhoCulture criticised the character for being one dimensional - but I think that's the point of the character. Banal, vapid, empty - yet an 'influencer'. Are we not in danger of all becoming Lindy's? It did feel like the 'clobber' episode of the series, though. The main message was 'social media bad' - and that was kind of hammered home a bit too hard. The 'real' enemy of the episode is really up for debate, though - at least 3 candidates :D

A couple of things in RL are really disturbing me. Firstly, Borussia Dortmund signing a 3-year sponsorship deal with an ARMS MANUFACTURER!!! I mean... we stopped drinks and tobacco companies advertising at sports events but a company that makes weapons is OK?! In what universe?! Do Dortmund-supporting parents want their kids wearing replica shirts with 'we make things to kill people' on them?! Talk about the banality of evil. It's the most terrifying thing I've seen in a long time.

And America and Germany giving permission for Ukraine to use arms they've supplied to fire on Russian targets. Do we WANT WWIII?! Because my son and grandson are right in the firing line - quite literally. Provoking Russia really doesn't look like a good idea from where I'm sitting. Much like the situation in Israel/Palestine I don't know what the answer is - but escalating the violence surely isn't it? At this rate we won't be able to create 'Finetime' because we'll have already created the world in 'Boom!'.

And this is why I play video games and other people live out their lives on Tik Tok - because RL is just too fucking scary to contemplate.

Oh, but I have been considering a slight glimmer of hope, lately. I firmly believe that my personal efforts at recycling, ethical buying, etc are not going to save the planet and we need government-level intervention (you know, instead of adding to the problems by firing MORE weapons). So, I've been frustrated by the lack of action by governments to clean up humanity's act. Recently, I've been thinking about how cautious politicians are and how they're worried people wouldn't vote for them if they actually stepped up on environmental issues. It needs a HUGE groundswell of public opinion to get governments to change direction. So, we do 'our bit', and 'our bit' gets wider and wider and gets to the point where we're looking for politicians who would actually do the high-level stuff that's needed - and then we vote for them and they can act. 

But given the other shit I talked about earlier, I think the glimmer is fading fast...
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I'd just about given up on the snowdrops I planted in 2022 but at least two have survived! I planted 25 originally and I think about half-a-dozen made it last year, but hopefully these two will keep going.

I'm also hopeful we'll have damselflies again. During the summer of 2022, about 30 emerged from our tiny pond (#itsapondnotapuddle), which I found completely amazing because it's in just about the coldest spot in the garden. Last winter, the pond froze solid for days at a time and the nymphs clearly did not survive. This winter, it's been frozen for just one day, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I have reached the Collapsing Bridge of Doom in the Kasane run of Scarlet Nexus. Even though I now have a strategy for crossing it, I have just died about 7 times in a row. It's late and I'm tired, so I'll try again tomorrow.

And I've ticked another film off my Tivo list - Love Again. Yes, it's a romcom featuring Celine Dion, but it also has Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Russel Tovey and Celia Imrie! It was a nice little distraction and underlines the importance of honesty in relationships.

In this life, we have a part to play, a thing to do that's just ours. For some people, it's singing on stage in front of thousands of adoring fans. For some, it's creating an exciting (or sentimental, or puzzling, or horrifying, or... or...) video game. For some, it's selling snowdrops to herald the spring in the gardens of strangers. For some, it's to find joy in beautiful little insects shedding the skins they no longer need and knowing that they (the human) provided them (the insects) with the perfect environment completely by chance.
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Except, you know, I'm on leave, which means...  Cleaning Projects!!!

Yesterday was the windows and bathroom.  Today, the kitchen gets scrubbed to within an inch of its life, including the fridge and bin.  Monday (probably), living room, then hall, stairs and landing.  My life is sooo exciting!  But after that, I'll be free to just chill and finish off FF8R - I'm aiming for my first ever Platinum Trophy!

The reorganisation of the bedroom went well - why didn't we put the bed here YEARS ago?!

Otherwise, life just... is...

I watched a documentary on the Hubble Space Telescope last night.  It's a bit sad to think it's never going to receive human visitors again.  I wonder if it will get lonely?
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 Had my first 'proper' meeting with the new rector yesterday and gave her a potted history of my 'spiritual journey'.  And realised afterwards that I'd left out some pretty major chunks - but she said she expects to be around for at least the next 10 years so there should be an opportunity to fill in the gaps!

I have also just realised that I've done absolutely nothing to prepare for Monday's Core Community meeting - that's my job this lunch time!

I ran into my first OMG boss the other night on KH - something with very long pink legs that kept hitting me but I didn't make much of a dent in.  Goofy REALLY hurt him but then got knocked out.  I do like that KO'd characters can come back without a Phoenix Down!  Yay, something I like about this game!!!

Still looking forward to getting to Primal!

Last night, I watched Who Do You Think You Are with Noel Clarke (I know him best from Doctor Who) and then watched an old Doctor Who story and one of the special features - and didn't go to bed until 11.30pm!  Given that I'm normally asleep by 10.30pm this was definitely staying up late!

I'm thinking that I might end up buying the DVDs for Peter Davidson and Sylvester McCoy's doctors on ebay and selling them on when I've watched them.  Unless Netflix does have them hidden away somewhere.  We shall see.  But LoveFilm are trying to help - my package allows me to have two discs at home and they're sending out three or four at a time to get me through as many as possible before the service ends.

I've been watching a 'let's play' of Persona 1 on YouTube.  The player annoys me a bit, not least because he leaves in ALL the battles and ALL his shopping decisions but I'm finding the story interesting.

Well, time to get on with the day!
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 I played just under two hours of KH1.5 last night and... it's about what I expected.  I'm not loving it but I'm not hating it.  Donald has made me smile a few times.  I did get frustrated with the hunt for provisions, with myself and with the game.  SOME clue about the location of coconuts would have been nice - although I was quite pleased with myself that I worked it out.  And after I'd got it all together, we didn't even use the bloody raft!  So, yeah - a classic FF-style fetch-quest that actually serves no useful purpose whatsoever.

Rosa is not amused.

And why is the second bloke called Riku?!  And what happened to Wakka's voice?!  And the little black goblin things are annoying.  And I keep getting thrown by the fact that the sound effects remind me of FFX but the fight music reminds me of FFXV.  And the colours are too bright.

And I'm actually struggling to find something I actually like about it...  Oh, I have it on 'beginner' level, so the fights aren't a challenge.  Ummm...

I will keep going and see if it grows on me but, at the moment, I'm feeling a bit like I did with Dragon Age - I'm playing this on a friend's recommendation not my own inclination and my first thought (that this isn't 'really' my kind of game) is right.
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*WARNING - FFXII:ZA SPOILERS AHEAD...  WARNING - FFXII:ZA SPOILERS AHEAD...  WARNING - FFXII:ZA SPOILERS AHEAD... *

Yeah - I'm too lazy to do the cut thingy.  Sorry...

Vayne is gone!  He was more of a challenge than I remember but I think I was ridiculously over-levelled last time I played.

I read a theory piece that said that Vayne is the real 'goody' of FFXII because he wants to take responsibility for history away from the Gods, but Ashe and co are following the Gods'/Occurias' wishes making them the 'baddies'.  But a) Ashe does make the decision to destroy the Sun Cryst (albeit late in the day - and she leaves the actual job to Reddas), and b) Venat is BAD - she tortures Vayne when she turns him into the The Undying, and has been corrupting both Vayne and Cid for years.  I agree that Vayne is committed to a noble cause but he's a bit like Seifer - he's backing the wrong side.

I sat through the credits because I thought there might be a little snippet of something at the end but there isn't - except for New Game+ and lots of nice concept art.  I was particularly struck by the picture of Cid holding baby Balthier.  The actual final bit of the game comes before the credits when the camera pans out to show Rabanastre in the middle of the desert.  Whoever developed that game is DEFINITELY a fan of Azure Dreams.  That person (or those people) also must also have worked on that tower-thing on the FFX/FFX-2 remaster.

A couple of things I really liked - Vaan's expression when he said, 'Larsa would definitely have said that' and the dialogue between Balthier and Fran when he picks her up - FRAN: I'd say you have more of a supporting role; BALTHIER: Fran, please.  Because, of course, he's the leading man!

But I digress.  I have completed the story element of FFXII:ZA and I love it more than ever.  I thank everyone at Square Enix who made it possible.

I have also found a couple of games that are coming out next year that look interesting.  Biomutant and Lost Sphear  They are now on my 'maybe' list behind Horizon: Zero Dawn.

Time to get this day underway"

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