A bed of roses

 Had a horrible meeting in work, yesterday.  I have a colleague - let's call him Alan - who is REALLY lovely person.  On a personal level, I could spend all day with him.  But in meetings...  So, we're working on this thing where he's due to give some training on a particular system to a team who don't currently use it.  Before he gives the training, he wants to know what their process is.  So, I ask the team for their process and they send through some information.  I make sure Alan has this information and ask him, 'is this what you need?'.  Deafening silence, which I take for assent.  Yes, I know - one should NEVER assume.  Especially when it comes to Alan.  BTW - this all happened about 3 weeks ago.  Now, the last three weeks have been a busy time for Alan and his gang, but how hard is it to answer a straightforward question with 'yay' or 'nay'?  So, at the meeting yesterday, Alan says, 'no, that wasn't what I needed'.

A word about my mood at that point.  I was too hot, which always makes me a little cranky, I'm mid-period (after missing one - did anyone say menopause?), and another part of the meeting had irritated me slightly.  And now I have Alan saying he still doesn't understand the process despite all I've been able to do but in a time and place where I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!

Added to this, Alan is well known for this kind of behaviour but nobody has yet worked out a way to deal with it.  Well, next time I send him an email containing information and with a direct 'is this what you need?', I am going to follow it up by going to speak to him, now that we're in the same building and all.  I am then going to follow up the face-to-face with an email (because I am damned well going to have EVERYTHING in writing) summing up what we've just agreed.  THEN, if he goes running to our boss (because he also known for 'telling teacher' when things don't go his way), I have an audit trail.  I think it may also be worth meeting with him, even briefly, before the meeting so that I know where his thinking is.

I don't think it's going to cure the behaviour but at least I have a chance of not being fucking AMBUSHED in a meeting and feeling like a complete idiot in front of my line manager and assorted others.

I do have to put in a word for another colleague - let's call him Dennis - who actually spoke up for one of my suggestions earlier in the meeting but who is generally on my 'arse' list.  Credit where it's due.

The new PM post has been advertised.  I am not going to apply because it's a LOT of work when I know that I won't get an interview.  There would be a point in terms of protest/flagging up my ambition - but my line manager is already well aware of how I'm feeling and is VERY supportive of helping me to move forward, so I don't feel the need there, either.

I also have to say that my gamer colleague is in a much worse position than I am and I just want to wave a magic wand and make it all right for him but I can't sort my own shit out so how am I going to sort his?  *breathe*

Anyway, I came home, finished a bottle of wine and watched 'Born on the Fourth of July'.  Geez, Tom Cruise can act.

I am now on leave for two days and then there's a Bank Holiday on Monday, so I don't have to think about work until Tuesday.  Yay!!!