A bed of roses

 I tried... and tried... and tried to get through the maze in Zau. A couple of times I got to the furthest point I'd reached so far and failed to land on a ledge, and back to the start I went. If there weren't so many opportunities to die on the way there, I'd have found the way to get past it. But... well... I gave up. Not in rage, but in sheer frustration. I haven't deleted the game - yet - but I'm seriously considering watching the ending. I believe I COULD get through, but it would take ages and life is just too short. And I'm at peace with that decision.

I picked up Tunic next. It's very cute - and very light on explanations. I'm just sort of figuring things out as I go - which is not really my preferred MO but it feels familiar enough that it's all making sense. I mean, I have an overall objective and I do have a map, of sorts. And I got through a boss fight with a stick of dynamite - so go me! Progress is being made, and that's the main thing.

I watched today's Doctor Who early, so on iPlayer rather than the recording. I... dunno... Susan Twist being recognised by The Doctor and jogging Ruby's memory was a great moment. The idea that there are NO rich PoC on the entire Earth... REALLY?! It gave The Doctor a moment to be frustrated by the sheer stupidity (banality as WhoCulture put it) of their attitude, rather than personally offended. Big props to the actress playing Lindy for making something of such a vapid, narcissistic character. WhoCulture criticised the character for being one dimensional - but I think that's the point of the character. Banal, vapid, empty - yet an 'influencer'. Are we not in danger of all becoming Lindy's? It did feel like the 'clobber' episode of the series, though. The main message was 'social media bad' - and that was kind of hammered home a bit too hard. The 'real' enemy of the episode is really up for debate, though - at least 3 candidates :D

A couple of things in RL are really disturbing me. Firstly, Borussia Dortmund signing a 3-year sponsorship deal with an ARMS MANUFACTURER!!! I mean... we stopped drinks and tobacco companies advertising at sports events but a company that makes weapons is OK?! In what universe?! Do Dortmund-supporting parents want their kids wearing replica shirts with 'we make things to kill people' on them?! Talk about the banality of evil. It's the most terrifying thing I've seen in a long time.

And America and Germany giving permission for Ukraine to use arms they've supplied to fire on Russian targets. Do we WANT WWIII?! Because my son and grandson are right in the firing line - quite literally. Provoking Russia really doesn't look like a good idea from where I'm sitting. Much like the situation in Israel/Palestine I don't know what the answer is - but escalating the violence surely isn't it? At this rate we won't be able to create 'Finetime' because we'll have already created the world in 'Boom!'.

And this is why I play video games and other people live out their lives on Tik Tok - because RL is just too fucking scary to contemplate.

Oh, but I have been considering a slight glimmer of hope, lately. I firmly believe that my personal efforts at recycling, ethical buying, etc are not going to save the planet and we need government-level intervention (you know, instead of adding to the problems by firing MORE weapons). So, I've been frustrated by the lack of action by governments to clean up humanity's act. Recently, I've been thinking about how cautious politicians are and how they're worried people wouldn't vote for them if they actually stepped up on environmental issues. It needs a HUGE groundswell of public opinion to get governments to change direction. So, we do 'our bit', and 'our bit' gets wider and wider and gets to the point where we're looking for politicians who would actually do the high-level stuff that's needed - and then we vote for them and they can act. 

But given the other shit I talked about earlier, I think the glimmer is fading fast...

Tonight's Doctor Who was SCARY. It started with a scene in a pub that made me think of 'An American Werewolf in London' :D But throughout the episode I was actually holding my breath, wondering what was going to happen next. Not sure what it all means... What about all the timey wimey stuff...? But The Doctor was saved, so that's the main thing, right?

I am amused by the different takes on the series so far amongst my fellow Whovians. 'The Devil's Chord' - Very Far Left fb friend HATED it, IT Colleague agreed with me that it had some interesting bits but could have done without the song 'n' dance number, Favourite Colleague (who I thought would hate it) thought it was fun! 'Boom!' - VFLFF and IC both agreed with me that it was the strongest episode of the first three, FC was pretty cold to it. We all agree that 'Space Babies' was bloody awful, though :D :D

Progress made in Zau. Typical Rosa moment - I have a new skill! Yay! Now, how do I get to that ledge? *tries 57 different combinations of button mashing* Damn! I'm going to have to look this up. Oh, but... I have that new skill... Could that...? Oh, yeah. That was it *facepalm* I have stopped at a point that requires me to use the new skill whilst jumping. Or jumping and dashing. Or... well, I haven't worked it out yet but my brain was tired and shutting down. So, that's for tomorrow.

Otherwise, a very quiet, chilled day. I did a speg bol for tea and tomorrow I'm doing a roast. I'm such a domestic goddess :D *note to self - do NOT forget the Yorkshires*

Daughter posted on fb that new baby is kicking the hell out of her insides. I say it's karma - she spent the last month apparently trying to dig her way out with her elbow. And remember, we have a dragon giving birth to a dragon; there's bound to be SOME fireworks, right? Grandson #1 is a dog and #2 is a rabbit. Son and sil are both horses, mother and I are both pigs, husband is a goat and stepfather is a tiger (which grandson #2 would have been if he'd arrived on time). So, we're mostly farm animals, except for the carnivores...

Interesting point about mother and me. The pig is a water animal. I was born in a metal year - metal can be formed into a container to carry the water, so I'm pretty much at peace with myself. Mother was born in a fire year and... well, isn't, imho. I have no idea about the elements for the others. I may look it up sometime.

And that's all for today, folks!

FICTION WRITER
I struggled to wake up this morning, even with the alarm, but I still managed to do the edit on the 'Hunting' story that I wanted to do. I've tweaked it a bit more this evening and I'm still not sure it works, but I'll see what the Beta readers make of it!

HOMEMAKER
With that done, it was downstairs for breakfast, throwing in a load of washing on the way past. I even got the washing on to the line and almost dry before the rain hit mid-afternoon! And I ran to the shop after tea to pick up some bits and pieces, so I won't be in a panic in the morning.

PERSONAL ASSISTANT (to myself...)
Every Monday morning I run through my calendar for the week picking out the highlights so I'm not taken unawares. And every Friday I review the 'to do' list and see what got done, what didn't, and what got moved. I'm also going to set up my personal 'to do' list for the next couple of days before I go to sleep.

DRAUGHTS-PERSON
I edited the roles and responsibilities doc, and the terms of reference for a committee, prepared a draft agenda for one meeting and tweaked one for another, and drafted the minutes for a third. I've also prepared the liturgy for tomorrow night, complete with a reading about Nazirites (an ancient Jewish community who took specific vows), and some bullets for a brief introduction to monasticism as contained in High Street Monasteries.

TRANSLATOR
My previous LM asked my current LM for a walkthrough of the new PM process but new LM didn't quite get the message. I've checked with previous that I've understood what they're asking for and will attempt to pass that on tomorrow.

PROUD GRANDPARENT
Got all soppy over some pics of grandson #2 getting shy because a woman in Costa looked at him - bless.

CHILLER-OUTER
I rounded the day off with a couple of episodes of Psych. I did consider playing Zau first, but decided I just didn't have the energy.

And tomorrow, we do it all again! I'll be editing a different story, renewing part of husband's prescription, leading a meeting to plan another meeting (love those!), watching Dave continue his adventures with FFVII OG, and leading evening prayer with added monasticism.

Just hope I get a better night's sleep, tonight...

 It was an absolutely beautiful day, today, and we had a really lovely meal at Zorba's. The owners' granddaughter was having a party at the back, so service was a bit slow - but also, I think spending 2+ hours over a meal is what they'd consider normal :D Grandson #1 took the day off work to grace us with his presence and grandson #2 ate everything within reach <3 Oh, and had great fun dropping his dummy for grandson #1 to pick up >D

While the boys watched the football, I played the demo for One Piece: Odyssey, which I found a bit weird. I'm guessing it dropped me in the middle of the game because everyone was at level 40 and had lots of skills. It did explain how to use the skills, and the tactics around which character to use for attack, but I struggled a bit to connect the dots. I preferred FFXVI's approach where you play the first couple of hours of the game and learn how to play naturally, then you got a bonus section with some extra abilities. Anyway, I won't be buying OPO, mostly because I didn't like the visuals.

I've downloaded the demo for Stella Blade, so I'll give that a go tomorrow.

Rather than play anything tonight, I decided to watch something off my Tivo and went with The Father. Olivia Colman plays a woman whose father, played by Anthony Hopkins, is suffering from (I guess) dementia. He forgets things and people, and sometimes it was hard to know what was real - but I think that's part of the experience for people with dementia, isn't it? A small but brilliant cast - as well as the main actors it had Rufus Sewell, Mark Gatiss, Olivia Williams and Imogen Poots.

I'm planning a not-doing-much day tomorrow, with perhaps some gardening.

But now it's time to get ready for bed.

Daughter rang to say they were going to visit this afternoon to bring husband's birthday present down. Well, daughter, sil and grandson #2 did come - but left the present behind. She's got maternity brain <_< We had fun with the baby, telling him all the animals on our shelves (elephant, cat, dolphin, another elephant, another cat, the first elephant) and watching him stand unaided whilst he wasn't thinking about it. He also walked quite a few steps from one person to another - then went back to crawling to get across the room :D At one point, he tried to get something out of the bin and all four adults said 'no!' in various tones of disapproval, which shocked him into tears. ;( Then our son came in from work and tried putting his leather coat around the baby which scared/shocked/something him again - daughter had just been telling us how he doesn't like being wrapped up and won't have a blanket on at night, so maybe it was that? - which had him in tears again. THEN I wiped his nose a little too enthusiastically (he's ALWAYS got a runny nose - thanks, nursery) and he cried AGAIN. We decided we'd seen more tears from him in a 90 minute visit than his whole 15 months put together! But he was all smiles and cuddles again before he left. So, husband will have to wait for the family meal next Sunday for his present. I did a roast dinner for tea tonight, which met with general approval. Tomorrow, I make my patented chocolate orange marble cake - yummy! I've also played quite a bit of Carto, today - I have 5 trophies for completing chapters. There are also some 'hidden' trophies, none of which I've managed to obtain. I usually leave checking out hidden trophies until the end of the game to avoid spoilers. It's one of those games that requires a certain amount of lateral thinking at times but the answers are always there. It is also very creative, with bits of the map being reused to provide new puzzles. It's definitely a good 'downtime' game after the gloom and anguish of FFXVI - and it has a nice cartoony style that will age very well. And now I'm heading to bed. I've got tomorrow off work, so I've turned the alarm off, but I want to spend some quality time with the husband as well as making that cake!

More Rising Tide

I can haz Ambrosia! I just have to fetch her myself...

Poor little Walje ;( No wonder he's pissed.

I don't understand the problem with Shula's ancestors. They're perfectly accepting of Bearers, who are not branded and are seen as valuable members of society - but they wanted to use and abuse the Dominant of Water... And apparently saw no contradiction in that...

Shula is the only member of the team other than Clive who appears to do any fighting. The only trouble is, by the time she launches her attack, the enemies are usually dead :D

I LOVE Tsunami.

The side quests continue the pattern of the main game - not terribly interesting in themselves, but really rounding out the lives and characters of the NPCs.

A quiet day, workwise. Did a bit more tidying up of the PMF, then spent the afternoon getting to grips with invoices and POs for all our contractors. I've started populating a spreadsheet, which I will probably whittle away at over the weekend. I don't normally work out of hours because I'm not contracted to do so, but it's not really the sort of task I want to do IN work, either. It will be perfectly possible to do it whilst watching the telly. As long as I do watch the telly and don't spend every spare minute on TRT, of course...

The most exciting thing about today was managing to get some washing on the line! It was very blowy but quite warm, today. Husband and I also managed a walk, so he got some fresh air.

Expecting a houseful, tomorrow - including some baby sitting! We'll see if we can pin everyone down for 5 May.

Well, here comes the weekend!

I'm getting so dizzy with changing heads that I'm forgetting the things I'm already committed to! Today, I offered to support a project board that I set up the meeting for... Next week is a lot less cluttered, so I'm going to take some time to just take stock, I think.

The PMF is looking quite different from what Tigger and I worked on a couple of weeks ago, and I've booked a 9am meeting to give them a heads up - I don't want them to come in to the group session later in the morning and not know what I've done. I'm happy that what I've documented works, but I'm not sure what impact it will have on the plans they've already created. Also, the stages we were looking at were based on someone else's process; we had to sort of retrofit the activities for each stage, which feels back-to-front. We should be documenting OUR process, not forcing it to fit someone else's. That's how I'm going to frame it, anyway. On the other hand, what I've ended up with is heavily influenced by the two people who should really have the least say! But that doesn't mean they're wrong...

My current line manager has asked me to facilitate a group that is not directly in my sphere of work and suggested there might be some pushback from my new line manager because it isn't a project board. However, we agreed that it will have an impact on my broader role and will be a big help to me, particularly in knowing what might be coming down the pipeline.

At prayers tonight we read another of the 'empty tomb' narratives. It's curious that we seem to be making our way through all of them, and they're all in the Lectionary for Tuesday evenings! Tonight's was John's version, where Mary Magdalene recognises the risen Jesus when he speaks her name. I think there's a level at which God knows our true name.

My maternal grandmother's given name was Nora Irene. Most people called her Nora or Gangan - my name for her when I was little that stuck. The vicar at her funeral, who didn't know her personally, kept calling her 'Nora Irene' because, he said, that was her true name, given at her baptism, and was how God knew her. But she was also Mum and Gangan! More people (not just family members) called her Gangan than EVER called her Nora Irene! How belittling of God to suggest God only recognises our baptismal name. My grandchildren aren't baptised - does God not know them at all? On the train up to Blackpool, my mum asked me to say a few words, which left me a bit stunned. What should I say?! At first I said I couldn't but husband encouraged me to try - and it all came pouring out. One of the first things I wrote was about extended family and friends calling her 'Gangan' and after the fifth reference to 'Nora Irene' I was so glad I did! I also talked about the tin bath in front of the fire before her bathroom was put in, and rhubarb crumble made from the rhubarb growing in her garden. 
 
My sister-in-law's given name was 'Mary' but she was known as 'Lynn' - but the priest at her funeral referred to her as 'Mary' throughout, presumably for the same stupid reason. It's such a simple thing to ask - 'how did you know x?'. Brother-in-law was Peter Anthony but was known as 'Tony' - and the minister referred to him as 'Tony'. It made such a difference.

The Ancient Egyptians believed that people achieved immortality through the speaking of their names. That was why they built little altars for the deceased, so the living could visit and speak their names. They would have been VERY particular about getting the right name :D But I do think there's some truth in the idea. My grandmother, sil and bil all live on in our memories, whenever we share their names.

Today was probably the least restful day of my break because I had no energy to do anything that I could then rest from, if that makes sense? I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I spent some time going through my work email account so there were only actual work emails left and then poked a tiny bit at the Parish Profile. I got back to sleep about 5am and woke up again about 8.30am but I just had no energy for anything much.

My mother and stepfather left one of their cameras here on Saturday, so they came round today to pick it up. So, that meant hanging around all morning waiting for them because I had no idea what time they were going to arrive. Which is also tiring. They were in less-annoying-than-usual mode today, so that was something - except when husband started talking and stepfather ignored this and started calling my name to tell me whatever he thought was more important and had to be hushed by my mother.

In FFXVI, I cleared out some side quests - the end game really is packed to the hilt with Stuff! This a good thing, though, because it raised me up another level. I'm also hoping to be able to craft the Gotterdammerung this time. I'm thinking of poking at the Arete Stone and Chronoliths if I finish EotF and the main game before 18 April.

I've just watched the first episode of 'The Chosen', which is the Gospel story told by combining the four Biblical accounts of Jesus' life but from the pov of the disciples, especially Mary Magdalene. It's OK, so far.

A few years ago, I watched a documentary on the women in Jesus' group, and a couple of things really stood out for me. The first was about Mary Magdalene. 'Magdala' means 'tower' in Aramaic and scholars have read 'Magdalene' as 'of Magdala' and tried to identify which of the possible places called 'Magdala' could be her home town. However, this documentary suggested that 'Magdala' is actually one of Jesus' nicknames - like Simon 'The Rock' Peter, or James and John 'The Sons of Thunder' - so she becomes Mary 'The Tower', which conjures images of a tall, imposing, statuesque woman.

The other memorable bit was when Jesus sent the 12 disciples out 'in pairs' to the surrounding towns and villages. Although it's not mentioned in the Gospels, the documentary suggested the pairs were actually a man and a woman. Women would have been able to go into the domestic areas of houses where men would be in the way. So the male half of the pair would go to the market place or chat to other men in the street, whilst the female half would be in people's kitchens, chatting with other women as they cooked or played with the children. This is an image of the Kin-dom I can get behind <3

I'm also working on getting to bed earlier, so I'm going to stop there.

Started the day with a bath because I'm on leave and some days should start with a bath.Tomorrow, I plan to do a bit of shopping and clean the bathroom tiles. And help Quinten. And hopefully Gav!

Today started like any other Saturday with a bath. I LOVE my baths but I limit myself to one per week in normal circumstances. I have been playing 'Rooms: The Main Building' on the DS but I just couldn't work up any enthusiasm for it. The puzzles are just things to get through so I can do the next level, not things I particularly want to solve. And it's all puzzles. I think it's time for it to go into the 'reject' box.

Then I went downstairs for breakfast with the husband and we decided on coffee and crumpets - and then I realised I never got round to buying coffee beans last week! So we had to have instant. I mean, it's GOOD instant but 'proper' coffee is another of our little weekly rituals.

I did a quick clean and then my mother and step-father arrived. I gave mother her Mother's Day present, which she really liked, so that was good. Then there was a long conversation between the two of them about holidays involving steam trains with me and husband pretty much zoning out. But then mother asked if we could recommend a plumber, so I gave her the name of the chap who put our toilet in. And she also asked if I could find a particular street on their A-Z - which I couldn't but I did find it on Google maps and showed them the street view, so at least I was able to be of use. She also left me a copy of a Hilary Mantel book. I vaguely remember being REALLY irritated by 'Wolf Hall' but I can't really remember why. We'll give it a go, though.

Then daughter and grandson #2 arrived. And mother and step-father left about 5 minutes later. They've said to me they want to see more of the baby - then leave when he arrives! Anyway, we had a nice afternoon playing with baby toys and feeding him junk :D He's getting better at sticking his magnetic blocks and their attachments together. And is still ridiculously amused by me juggling two balls. As they were leaving he held his arms out to me, but more from habit, I think. He certainly didn't cry or otherwise protest. 

It was about 4pm when I finally got to the PS5 and made some progress with FFXVI. There was a tearful reunion and I felt myself tearing up. I've been trying to remember which bits got me bawling my eyes out on the first playthrough. I know I sobbed for a good 5 minutes when I finished the demo. It seemed SO perfect - beautiful graphics, characters I wanted to know better, interesting combat; it was EVERYTHING I had been hoping it would be. I'm pretty sure I cried near the end too - and a number of times in between but I don't know now what set me off. It could even have been the deaths of some of the antagonists, because they are all fully fleshed out characters with very believable motivations, and some of them are gone far too early.

I spent the evening watching telly with son and husband. A quiet night in front of the box is just what you want, sometimes. And I've put a record on 'Barbie'.

And I've just had another play session, getting Jill her redemption <3 But back at the hideaway I'm running around doing fetch quests and monster hunts :D

I think I'm ready for tomorrow...