Realisations
Mar. 7th, 2020 07:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosa_heartlilyI was feeling quite low at the start of the week. When people asked how I was, my response was, 'OK' in a meh kind of tone. When doing my 'holy' reflections on Thursday morning, I realised this was a familiar feeling. I had it in 2013 after the department restructure left me without any kind of team (my only immediate colleague took voluntary severance and the 'team' I was placed in for admin purposes had nothing to do with my role), and also around 2008 when I had an 'office' (meeting space with a computer in the corner) to myself.
I have a 'team' but 2 of the people are new and we're expecting another newbie a week on Monday, and the 2 newbies and the remaining member of the 'old' team are bonding but I'm not quite getting in. It's not personal or deliberate in any way - I just need time to warm up to people unless they make a serious effort with me. The remaining member is my gamer colleague who is one of those lovely people who just gets on with everyone, so it's no surprise they're getting on with the newbies.
One of the newbies has also played the FF games (although the FF7R was news to them...?!), so that would give me something to talk to them about, and the other one has just borrowed (or is about to borrow?) FFX from gamer colleague having never played FF before, so that gives me an in there. And GC is off on Monday (being a parent of twins), so I can get the newbies 'on their own'! Or I can just wuss out and put my headphones on and listen to FF8 OST all day!
The other thing I'm missing is someone who is a) paid AND b) invested enough to listen to me moan. I used to enjoy 1-1's with my former line manager because I could just vent about anything and everything. And now they're gone. My new line manager (again, more for admin purposes than anything, although we do actually do work together) has a much bigger team to look after and I'm missing the personal attention I used to have.
Understanding where the funk was coming from has been a big help, though, and I've felt much better since. And when the new newbie starts, I can start to settle in to the new team properly. Until I high tail it out of there for my own new job!
I have a 'team' but 2 of the people are new and we're expecting another newbie a week on Monday, and the 2 newbies and the remaining member of the 'old' team are bonding but I'm not quite getting in. It's not personal or deliberate in any way - I just need time to warm up to people unless they make a serious effort with me. The remaining member is my gamer colleague who is one of those lovely people who just gets on with everyone, so it's no surprise they're getting on with the newbies.
One of the newbies has also played the FF games (although the FF7R was news to them...?!), so that would give me something to talk to them about, and the other one has just borrowed (or is about to borrow?) FFX from gamer colleague having never played FF before, so that gives me an in there. And GC is off on Monday (being a parent of twins), so I can get the newbies 'on their own'! Or I can just wuss out and put my headphones on and listen to FF8 OST all day!
The other thing I'm missing is someone who is a) paid AND b) invested enough to listen to me moan. I used to enjoy 1-1's with my former line manager because I could just vent about anything and everything. And now they're gone. My new line manager (again, more for admin purposes than anything, although we do actually do work together) has a much bigger team to look after and I'm missing the personal attention I used to have.
Understanding where the funk was coming from has been a big help, though, and I've felt much better since. And when the new newbie starts, I can start to settle in to the new team properly. Until I high tail it out of there for my own new job!
