I've discovered that I know three people who know people who know the family of one of the girls killed on Monday. Three people from completely different parts of my life who all know this one family. We are all connected, all much closer than we realise to each other. But what do we do? We try to cut ourselves off, hide in our own little bubbles, deliberately ignore the humanity in each other. That is NOT the way to make the world a better place.

I haven't actually seen soldiers on the streets but one of the girls in the hairdressers yesterday said she'd seen then marching past. I can't express how uncomfortable it makes me feel, knowing that this is the reaction of the Prime Minister of my country to this situation. How is hyping up the public's fear level going to stabilise the situation?! But, of course, it all plays into her hands. Raise the fear level by appearing to address people's fears. It's moronic but I haven't seen much in the way of protest, other than my own fb rants. God help us. What world are we going to wake up to on 9 June?

One of my colleagues said he was feeling more upbeat about the result of the election, expecting a hung parliament, until the bombing. Now he's back to expecting it to be a Tory landslide. I said that there was still quite a lot of time before the election but it occurs to me that this is precisely what all this manufactured paranoia is about. Keep it in the public consciousness as long as possible.

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again many times as long as she is Prime Minister but Theresa May terrifies me. The way she waltzed into Number 10 without even having to face an election in her own party! The U-turn on Brexit without even batting an eyelid. The lack of responsibility for the hacking of the NHS, which was a result of her actions as Home Secretary. A manifesto stuffed with policies that will hurt the most vulnerable in our society - I mean, they've actually printed this stuff, this horror show and they're still ahead in the polls! And now this; armed police and soldiers to 'keep our streets safe'.

God help us all.
 Didn't get to HoS last night and I don't think I'll get to it again before Sunday. Still, I managed to clock up 4 hours on it last Sunday (in two sittings), so there's a good chance I'll make some progress this Sunday.

Watched the first part of The Trial on Channel 4's catch up service yesterday morning, which was a tortuous experience to say the least. It would play for 30 seconds, then buffer for 30 seconds, then play again. And, being on line, it also had ad breaks. Then it cut out completely about halfway through, so I restarted it and moved along to where I guessed it had gone off. And it made me sit through another 3 minutes of adverts! So, what should have taken 50 minutes took nearer 90. Not impressed. I do want to watch the other episodes, so I'll see if the catch up service on the telly works any better. But, again, it might be Sunday before that happens.

One of the victims of Monday's bombing was a girl who lived in the same area as my daughter and went to school with the sister of one of our grandson's friends. They have a real community spirit up there, so there's an event at the local pub on Friday night. Which means we're having the grandson on Friday as well as Saturday.

Still trying to process Monday night, I mean, it's a terrible thing that happened and, of course, I condemn anyone involved. To target a concert where most of the people are going to be young girls is... Well, there are all kinds of messages in such an act, aren't there? But it's the aftermath that I find really scary. My son and I saw armed police in town on Tuesday. I've only ever seen a real gun once before and that was a hand gun in a plastic bag in a cupboard. This was two automatic weapons being carried by police officers in my city centre. I felt sick. And now there's talk of soldiers on the streets and the paranoid part of me expects Theresa May to enact some emergency power that makes her a dictator and scraps the election altogether.

Because she's called for an indefinite suspension of election campaigning - but her face is still on the telly. She gets to campaign without campaigning - neat trick, eh? Margaret Thatcher must be turning in her grave from sheer envy!

So, yes, I'm more scared today than I was on Monday but not because of the actual suicide bombing of a concert. It's the actions of the Prime Minister that terrify me.

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